Be Strong and Courageous

Today, Tim began what is going to be an awesome sermon series entitled "Stand and Shout." It's going to be based on the book of Joshua. Today he talked about the charge that God gives to Joshua. He reminds him to be strong and courageous. He says it 3 times. He constantly reminds him. Not only does God call him to be strong and courageous, but he reminds him that He will always be with him. God calls us all to the same life. God wants his followers to be strong and courageous.
Making this relevant to my weight loss is rather simple. God calls me to trust him and be strong. He wants me to remember that he is with me in every step I take in this journey. This, just like many other challenges is a battle. I can do one of 2 things. I can either give in to my temptations and allow Satan to have a grasp on certain parts on my life, or I can trust that God will never leave me and fight back. My body is a temple of God and He wants me to be healthy. He doesn't want me to give Satan a stronghold on any part of my life. But just because God is with me does not make it easy. Usually it makes it more difficult. But I do know that God knows what is best for me. And he knows that any testing of my faith produces perseverance.
I can do this. I know I can because I have a God that is always with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. God calls me to be strong and courageous. I should not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord my God will be with me wherever I go.

No More Excuses

It's been a little over a month since my last blog post. Now, I can make excuses like my moving into a new house, not having internet, going on vacation, and being busy at work, and yeah, some of that did play a role in some of what has happened over the past month. It's been hard. Moving is one of the most stressfull things you can do. I spent 2 weeks without internet. I had all my kitchen stuff boxed up for a week and a half. But the time has now come where there are no more excuses to make. Has this past month been crazy? Yeah, but I could have had better self control. I have started doing my Biggest Loser Videos again. I decided that there will be no more excuses. That is my motto from now on. NO MORE EXCUSES. Instead of focusing on why I didn't do anything, I'm going to focus on ways to do it more successfully. For example, when I wanted to go on a hike yesterday, I sent out a Facebook status update asking if anyone wants to join me. It's a lot easier to walk together than to walk alone.
My dad said something interesting to me today. He was listening to something and this stuck with him, and so he told me and now I have it stuck in my head. He said "If you keep saying 'I'll be happy when...'then you will never get there." I have to be happy with myself before I lose the weight. I can't just say I will be happy when I lose the weight, because I will never get there. My weight loss has to come from me loving myself enough to realize that I want to change not to make me happier, but healthier. Only when I truly love myself can I really do something great.

Snickers Doesn't Satisfy...God Does.

"Help Yourself to Happiness. "
It's a slogan for a buffet restaurant called Golden Corral. They serve a smorgasbord of different types of food. (I know what you're thinking, and no I have not gone there recently. Haha) I saw their commercial on TV, and to be honest, when I saw their slogan, it really hit me. "Help Yourself to Happiness." What they are saying is what so many people believe. People believe that food will make you happy. Think about it...There are "comfort" foods, "soul" foods, and when you've had a rough day, you just want to go ask for a pint...of Ben and Jerry's.
I realize that I have lived this way for most of my life. I have believed that food, above almost anything else will make me happy. What they don't show in that commercial is the overweight kid who feels horrible afterward. Or the person who eats emotionally and attempts to drown their sorrows in a pound of fried shrimp and macaroni and cheese. What they don't show is what else you are helping yourself to...such as bad cholesterol, clogged arteries, and diabetes.
I have used food for emotional reasons way too much. Lately, food has been more of a stress reliever than any other type of emotion. When I've had a rough day at work, I want to go "help myself to happiness." But it doesn't help. Usually, I feel worse after eating it than I did before. This has to stop. I know that food can't make me happy. It can't satisfy my craving for love and affection. It can't make me feel better about myself. Only God can.
If God were to have a slogan like that, I think it would be "Don't help yourself to happiness, allow me to satisfy your hunger." See, in Jesus Christ, God has given us bread that will never make us hunger. He has given us water that will never make us thirst. I have to grasp that fact. I have to remember that I have a God who loves and cares for me. I have to allow him to satisfy my hunger. There is not a Snickers bar big enough to satisfy the hunger that I long for. But God can fill it. I don't need "Patrick Chewing" or "Sir Snacksalot" to satisfy my hunger. I must allow God to do that. He is the only one who can satisfy my need.
Snickers doesn't satisfy...Only God does.

Pruning the Branches

As I was doing my daily reading I happened across these verses in John 15. It was verses 1-2.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

The more I thought about that verse the more it hit me. Pruning is not a pleasant experience. It involves removing the parts of the plant that are dead or dying. Just the other day at work I looked at the plant on top of my desk and I realized that there were quite a few dead leaves and stems on it. I gently went through and plucked off the bad leaves and cut of the dying stems in order to make my plant look better. Sucks to be the plant though. Think about it. Like when Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz picks the apple off the tree and the tree gets mad at her. I'm sure that if a plant could talk it would probably not like the fact that I was pruning off some of its parts. But then I looked at my plant later and after some water and pruning it sprung back to life and began to really blossom.

I mentioned all that to ask this question...What are some areas of your life that need pruning? When I look at my life I notice that I have a serious issue with food. That is a branch that I am going to need to prune and remove. There are other things in my life as well that prevent me from truly blossoming. The problem is (and I'm guessing that most of us have this issue from time to time) that pruning involves pain. It involves removing something from your life, and usually there is some pain involved. But the good news is when I look at my plant now, I can tell that the plant is far better off than it was before. Which means the same for me. If I allow God to walk through my life, my garden if you will, and remove the parts of my life that are preventing me to grow, there might be some pain, but in the long run it's better than the whole garden dying. I have to be willing to allow God in and allow him to prune the dying and diseased branches. If I don't then I will continue to struggle with my weight as well as spiritually in my walk with God. God is the Gardener, and he does not want me to have bad branches, especially when I am attaching myself to Christ, the Vine.

Lord, I ask you to walk through my garden. Prune away the parts of my life that are unhealthy. Help me to deal with whatever pain I might feel in the process, and help me to remember that in the long run the pruning process is necessary for me to grow closer to you.

In Christ name,

Amen

Down but not out

I've really been struggling the past few weeks. I haven't been working out and I have not been eating properly. I seem to be in a rut. But today I found out what a rut is...It is a coffin with both sides kicked out. I don't want to be in a rut anymore. But my biggest problem right now is the fact that I haven't done anything to fix the situation. I just ask myself why. Why did I eat that? Why didn't I go work out today? Why haven't I posted a video? My new question is when am I going to stop asking why and just change something? It does no good for me to sit and dwell in the past. It does no good to wonder why and sit and do nothing.
I realized today that one thing I do is when I get in a situation like this is that I don't tell anyone. I don't open up and talk about it. I pretend like everything is fine when it really is not. I ignore the problem and hope it will go away by itself...but you know what? It never does. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger until I can't control it anymore. I thought this video blog would help, but I found out that I can just "forget" to put a video up.
I am going to begin to get more personable about what is going on. I'm not going to hide from my problems anymore. I am not going to pretend they don't exist. I need to just face them head on and deal with them.
Therefore, tomorrow I will step on the scale for the first time in 2 weeks. I will look at that number and face the facts. I will take responsibility for it and then ask myself the question...Now what? What am I going to do now? I might be down, but I am not out. The measure of a man is not how he acts when everything is going great, but when adversity comes. I want to be the man that God calls me to be.

David and Goliath

The story of David and Goliath is known as one of the most popular stories in The Bible. It has even penetrated into society. When one person takes on a large company in a lawsuit it's called a David vs. Goliath case. Even some sporting events will play on the David vs. Goliath role. But there is so much more to this story than just a young man taking on a 9 foot freak of nature. We see something interesting in how David takes on Goliath. You see, David does not say "I'm going to take care of this." He says "The Lord...will deliver deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." While every one else is focusing on the size of Goliath, his armor, and his spear, David focuses on God.
What is your Goliath? What are you battling? And are you focusing on the problem rather than God? David reminds us that when we focus on our giants, we fall, but when we focus on God, our giants fall.

Do you want to get well?

Today, Tim gave a great sermon from John 5 where Jesus heals the paralytic at the pool of Bethesda. The story is interesting because of the way Jesus engages the man. He seems to be lacking that pity and compassion that he normally has, and he simply asks the man, “Do you want to get well?” The man’s response is not “yes,” or “no,” but he blames others:
“Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."
His response is to blame others…to make excuses. No one will help him…He’s not fast enough…It’s hopeless. Jesus responds with “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” Jesus engages the man in a unique and incredible way that only Jesus could have done.

The question for some of us can truly be do we want to get well? Some of us can become too comfortable being the victim. We can become comfortable with the pain and sorrow that we are dealing with and we can make it to where we would rather just stay in that situation, rather than get better. And Tim’s not talking about someone with a real need who just lost a loved one or someone who is truly grieving, but what he was talking about are those people who never seem to deal with that they are going through. They seem to relish in the sadness and when given the opportunity to heal they never take it. They make excuses for why they shouldn’t.

I began to think about my own life. How many times do I delay the healing process? How many times do I blame others for my current situation? How many times have I allowed myself to stay in a bad situation because it was comfortable?

The answer is too many times. I kept the weight on for a number of reasons but I’m pretty sure that one of them is because I wanted to feel like I was cared for. See, my dad has always cared about my weight, and I think that at some personal level I felt like I needed to keep the weight on too keep him caring about me. I’m beginning to realize that he cares for me no matter what I weigh, and no matter what I do with my life. Well, I am tired of making excuses and I’m tired of waiting by the pool of Bethesda to just wine and complain. I want to do something about my problems, and I want to get well. I am going to allow Christ to heal me and release my from my past that haunts me, and then I am going to pick up my mat and walk

Pain is sometimes necessary and there are people who are in real pain. My job in life is not to diagnose who is sick and who is “sick.” That’s God’s job, and those people will be held accountable for that. But I am supposed to be there to mourn with the mourners, and to help them in the healing process. But I pray that we will begin to understand when we are truly hurting, and when we are just making excuses so that we don’t have to deal with our problems. Let us allow Jesus Christ to heal our hearts and give us the ability to pick ourselves up and walk.

I was once asked by a wise man to pretend that I am driving down my favorite road. I picked Interstate 40, between Nashville and Knoxville, TN. It's a beautiful drive. I was asked to pretend that while driving down the road, I come to a stop at a road block. I was asked to imagine what the road block looked like. I described it as a standard highway construction road block. It was made of 3 metal poles with 3 long sheets of thin metal bolted to the poles. In the middle of the barrier was an orange reflective sign that said "Road Closed." I was asked to go into great detail in describing this road block. You may be asking yourself at this point...why? Why would someone ask me to imagine something like this. The wise man (whose name is Carl Thompson) told me after the exercise that the reason for this was to try and find what kind of barrier I had placed in front of me. See, I have had trouble finishing things...college, music I wrote, learning guitar, becoming a professional musician. I would come so close to finishing. I was just a few classes short of graduating from college. I am a few bars away from finishing some songs that I have yet to finish. It seems that I don't have a problem starting something, but finishing is a different story. Why is that? What is it about me that won't finish? Why do I have a barrier in front of me?
One time, while talking to Carl, He asked me to take apart the barrier...to remove it. He literally made me act out removing all the bolts, all the pieces, everything. As I neared the end of the imaginative segment of removing this barrier, it became increasingly difficult, I was beginning to sweat, and even breathe heavy. And as I began to take apart the final bolts holding the barrier together, I began to cry. It was almost as if I was doing more than just pretending to move a road block...It was as if I was removing something more than that.
I remember Carl telling me that my barrier was something that was not permanent...It wasn't an impossible task to remove. It wasn't a 20 foot high barrier stretching to infinity on both sides with barb wire...It was simple. It was something that with enough work and thought and prayer, I could remove it. Sometimes, I have to go back and pretend again, because it seems to keep reappearing. But somewhere in my head, I have the answer. I have the answer to the ultimate question of my life..Why do I do what I don't want to do? Paul puts this best in Romans 7:15 when he says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do." I love The Message paraphrase of this as well..."What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then act another, doing things I absolutely despise." Somehow, in this journey I have to figure out why I do what I don't want to do. I have to figure out why it is that I don't finish, and the best way to figure that out is to keep fighting and finish. I CAN do this. There's not a lot of doubt...I lasted this long, and I can last longer. It's all up to me though. I need to decide what I want, and to do whatever it takes to get there.

I fell off the wagon for a few weeks. I began to doubt. I began to sink. But now comes the most important decision in my life. To continue with my journey of getting healthy or to let Satan win and send me down the path to personal destruction. I already know what I have decided. Now it's time to pick myself up from the ashes, dust myself off, and press on toward the goal. I will finish this race. I will not allow Satan to keep me as a slave to food. I just have to focus. Focus on what I desire more than anything...a healthy life.

Working through temptation

Yesterday, I had a victory. I had spent all of my morning working on videos for church and although I had grabbed a small lunch, my mind kept jumping to the possibility of grabbing some fast food on my way to work. I started thinking about how I could possibly arrange to do that; maybe leave 5 minutes early or something.
Now to keep myself from eating out I had stopped carrying money on me. I don't even carry my debit card. I keep it hidden out of sight in my room. So, as I am getting ready to go to work, I grab some money and put it in my wallet. It's almost as if I didn't care that I was getting ready to do some major harm to my weight loss goals. I then took a shower, and while I was in the shower, I started thinking, and praying. I began to really think about what it was going to "cost" me to eat that. Not the $3 it was going to cost, but the mental and emotional cost it would carry. And I stopped and took some time to think about it. And it hit me...I finally began to understand something about temptation. Here's what I am starting to understand:
Most of the times that I failed to overcome temptation, I was trying to talk myself out of it in the process of going to do it. What I am saying is it is far more difficult to talk myself out of eating fast food if I am in the car and driving there. There are too many other things going on in my head...such as "I hope the car behind me has good brakes!" But If I were to just stop...Be still...Let my mind have a chance to really think about it, I stand a much greater chance of overcoming it. God keeps telling people in The Bible to "Be Still." He says to Moses "Be still, and know that I am GOD." I think God knew what He was doing when He told people to be still. Being still allows our mind to work correctly. Being still allows us to focus. When I am frustrated, or upset, my mind is not working clearly. I make horrible decisions with my health when I act on spur of the moment emotional decisions. But if I just take the time to slow down, stop what I am doing and allow myself to be still, I can really begin to make smart decisions.
It reminds me of the story of Elijah, and in I Kings, God tells him to go stand on the mountain because He is going to pass by him. So wind came and tore the mountain apart, but God was not there, neither was he in the earthquake or the fire that quenched the mountain. He was in a gentle whisper. When I am really struggling with food, maybe the best thing for me to do is to be still, and listen to the gentle whisper telling me the truth...that I don't need this food to make me happy. Only God has the power to satisfy me.

Case of the Mondays

It's interesting that I both love and hate working early. I don't like getting up so early, but I love getting out early...And it so happens that I love getting out early more than I love sleeping in. It was hard to get up an extra 45 minutes earlier to make breakfast but I felt the difference later in the day. I brought some almonds with me to munch on during the day. I got off work, and immediately went over to Daley Ranch to do some hiking. I felt renewed up there in the mountains. I have really missed hiking. I didn't realize how much I loved the tranquility and energy I feel there. I've been doing a lot of thinking today about my life. I realize that I spend way too much time thinking about my past mistakes. I think about the fact that I didn't finish school, but I don't think about the fact that I am living on my own. I think about my past failures of weight loss, but I don't think about how I completely turned my job around and am now one of the leading sales people. A wise man once told me that you can be hugged a thousand times and slapped once, and you will remember the slap more than any of the hugs. Why is that? Why do we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. If I did that, I wouldn't focus on the fact that I am still overweight, I would focus on the fact that I have eliminated 30 pounds off of my body! Weight loss is such a mental game. And Satan is waiting at every corner waiting to entangle me in feelings of fear, self doubt, loneliness, and depression. I need to figure out when and where he waits for me and keep myself away from those places. If my struggle is fast food after work, then I leave all my money at home. I can't buy anything if I don't have money. If my struggle is loneliness, then I find people who can support me. I need to find every tactic the devil uses and create a counter-offensive. I don't need to just play defense, but offense as well. And since God is who He says He is, then I know that I have the spirit of power, love and self control to accomplish this. God believes in me, and I can too.

The Plan

No one goes into battle without a plan. If I am going to be successful I need a plan as well. I need something that is easy for me to do and something that I can easily follow. The first thing that I am going to do is plan out my meals for the entire week. With my work schedule varying so much day to day, this is extremely important to my success. I also plan on making sure that I plan times to work out as well. One of the most important things I am going to do is to bring workout clothes with me to work. There is a 2.5 mile circle near my work and I can walk it right after work! That's easy enough! I have to plan my time at the gym as well. I also have to be sure and eat breakfast. A good breakfast will help curb hunger later in the day and will help in the fight against the McDonald's Drive Thru after work.
I am also going to spend some time watching my videos I created earlier. I think I need to rediscover my original drive.

Well,
This is my first blog on here. I have been doing my own Biggest Loser show on Facebook and I thought this would complement it rather nicely.
I have been really struggling with my food lately, as well as my excercise. It's almost as if I am losing focus. The hard thing for me is when I do mess up is getting right back up and starting again. Satan keeps reminding me of all the things I didn't finish. He reminds me of the fact that I haven't finished school, or that I haven't been successful in the past with my weight management efforts. It's hard not to feel like a failure when I go through these valleys. Work has been stressful, and I have begun to use food to cope with that as well.
No one ever said this was going to be easy. I'm beginning to realize that I can't do this on my own. I am more of an externally motivated person. That is why I want to start finding people in the area that I can do this with. I would like to maybe go for a walk or a hike. Just something so that we can all feel like we are all in this together. If anybody has any ideas, let me know. Again, I can't thank you enough for all your support. I know that God has put the power in me to do this. I just need to believe it for myself. I am facing the most difficult battle of my life, and it is literally a battle for my life.
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self control."II Timothy 1:7