Friday, April 17, 2009

Working through temptation

Yesterday, I had a victory. I had spent all of my morning working on videos for church and although I had grabbed a small lunch, my mind kept jumping to the possibility of grabbing some fast food on my way to work. I started thinking about how I could possibly arrange to do that; maybe leave 5 minutes early or something.
Now to keep myself from eating out I had stopped carrying money on me. I don't even carry my debit card. I keep it hidden out of sight in my room. So, as I am getting ready to go to work, I grab some money and put it in my wallet. It's almost as if I didn't care that I was getting ready to do some major harm to my weight loss goals. I then took a shower, and while I was in the shower, I started thinking, and praying. I began to really think about what it was going to "cost" me to eat that. Not the $3 it was going to cost, but the mental and emotional cost it would carry. And I stopped and took some time to think about it. And it hit me...I finally began to understand something about temptation. Here's what I am starting to understand:
Most of the times that I failed to overcome temptation, I was trying to talk myself out of it in the process of going to do it. What I am saying is it is far more difficult to talk myself out of eating fast food if I am in the car and driving there. There are too many other things going on in my head...such as "I hope the car behind me has good brakes!" But If I were to just stop...Be still...Let my mind have a chance to really think about it, I stand a much greater chance of overcoming it. God keeps telling people in The Bible to "Be Still." He says to Moses "Be still, and know that I am GOD." I think God knew what He was doing when He told people to be still. Being still allows our mind to work correctly. Being still allows us to focus. When I am frustrated, or upset, my mind is not working clearly. I make horrible decisions with my health when I act on spur of the moment emotional decisions. But if I just take the time to slow down, stop what I am doing and allow myself to be still, I can really begin to make smart decisions.
It reminds me of the story of Elijah, and in I Kings, God tells him to go stand on the mountain because He is going to pass by him. So wind came and tore the mountain apart, but God was not there, neither was he in the earthquake or the fire that quenched the mountain. He was in a gentle whisper. When I am really struggling with food, maybe the best thing for me to do is to be still, and listen to the gentle whisper telling me the truth...that I don't need this food to make me happy. Only God has the power to satisfy me.

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